Rob Ford goes berserk
Toronto City Council broke into chaos Monday afternoon after Mayor Rob Ford seemingly charged towards a spectator in the galley, knocking over a city councillor in the process, after his brother Doug Ford screamed “scumbags” at the public.
The mayor took off running after his brother got into a verbal argument with the crowd, hitting Councillor Pam McConnell, knocking her backwards, before catching her and helping her steady herself.
Me: I think Toronto is actually somebody’s Dwarf Fortress session, as this is a common problem with my dwarven mayors. We’ll know know for sure if Ford takes off all his clothes and runs gibbering into the very teeth of a goblin invasion, but I’d advise Toronto to cast him down into the unexplored caverns which lie below it before things get to that point. More efficient use of resources.
And if no vast unexplored caverns happen to lie beneath Toronto, then, well, that’s an example of poor urban planning, right there.
Someone Else: There are indeed vast caverns beneath Toronto, but they’re mostly pretty well documented.
And human-built, too, if memory serves.
Me: Dig deeper, and more greedily.
Another problem I’m seeing is that they chose a mayor with a really inconvenient material preference. Cocaine is an import item, and it’s not cheap! This could have been avoided had the city chosen to elect a pot-smoking or alcoholic mayor, given that both of those products can be produced locally, and at minimal cost.
It might also have helped to make certain that his tables, chairs, and weapon racks were made of his favorite sort of wood/metal and adorned with his preferred jewels, that he always had a supply of his favorite food easily available, and that caged animals of which he was fond were placed where he could easily see them.
That is, if he wasn’t a mosquitomen kind of guy! I don’t think those are local, either.
And this should be obvious, but your mayor should always be kept indoors, well away from sunlight and rain.